Hahah, very clean and smooth. Aria or Sign from Susumu Hirasawa would've fitted a lot better, but this song is classic silliness. I also would've liked it if you diverge a little bit from the original opening and did your own thing, but it was more or less mostly the same with DSII references instead. Still the animation was smooth and colouring was real nice. Have fun with the Lets Plays.
Oh man, where to begin. First, hey congratulation on making a series that's gone to 18 episodes, not too many people make it this far. Looking at the reception you've gotten so far, your fans are definitely pleased at where the series is going. Can't say the same, never having watched any of this before. Judging this on it's own merit however, there are many things dragging it down as a movie.
First, man, that writing. I'm really glad you're trying to tell a serious story with loads of characters and sub plots and what not. Nice change of pace from most sprite movies. But man, the writing is so awkward and poorly paced. If you honestly read the script out loud I'm sure you'll realize that no one talks like how these kids are. You keep jumping around from awkward scene to awkward scene like mad and I'm always trying to wonder what the point of what I just saw was. "I'm trying to find my boyfriend." "Isn't that like stalking?" "I have nothing else to do in my life." "Thanks for saving me." "I'm immortal." "???"
If you were trying to establish character motive I suppose you succeeded, in a very quick and slipshod way. People have tendencies of pointing out the obvious, or just plain out saying something that had no bearing on what just happened. The Slime is a great example of him unnecessarily explaining in complete detail what was happening and odd dialogue. And then when people are fighting, holy crap do they talk a lot. Shouldn't they be more focused on beating their opponent than explaining all of their attacks? And I keep trying to take the characters and story seriously, but then they start talking about "trolling" and "playstation games." After awhile, it just got painful trying to get through the movie and then it just suddenly ended on the most random moment to a black screen. No credits or anything, just bam. Done.
So every character is an edit of a Sonic character, that's okay. Atleast you're trying to establish your own characters instead of just straight using a preexisting character. The problem is they all nearly look exactly the same, aside from a few recolours and a scrap of clothing. And there are a lot of characters and aside from a select few, most of them had no distinctive personality, only furthering my difficulty of trying to figure out who is who. We have the shonen action main character, dark brooding guy, whacky impressionable little kid, mysterious magical girl, a cute little mascot, and then a bunch of mooks rounding out the ranks.
Other than that the animation was okay, a little too much negative space for the scenes where there were few characters and more than half the screen was nothing. Could probably just make the dimensions smaller to fix that or zoom in more so there's something on the screen. Nice choice of backgrounds you used, most I've never seen before. The fight scenes worked for the most part, aside from all the talking I mentioned before and how quickly everything happens. Not sure how the boat flipped upside down and the characters outside managed to not fall off however.
Music was an interesting choice, lot of lyrical songs that were really amped up and exciting. Though for the most part the scenes they were used in weren't that exciting. Kept changing a little too much me thinks and with no smooth transition. DBZ sound effects was DBZ sound effects. I guess if you're gonna make a Sonic Sprite movie it's mandatory to use DBZ crap. You used it a little more subtly than most Flashes though.
Well, I'm sure I said enough negative things by now. My man, get someone to proofread your scripts before you start the next episode or just read it out loud. It's obvious you really need to do some more editing on your scripts before you submit a movie, maybe go through a couple of drafts? If you're trying to tell a serious story, it's not gonna work if I don't take the characters seriously.
Keep working at it and I hope you'll make me eat my words someday.
Thanks for the long response. I figured I would reply to this since you took the time to write this.
Sonic Syythe World is a comedy, so I wouldn't really call it a serious story myself.
I've had over 20 testers test this and no one said anything odd about the script. Perhaps because they have been there since episode 1 and adapted to the style of the series, or they are familiar with the characters weird personalities.
The talking too much and explaining in detail is what happens in Naruto, actually. My older episodes don't have so much talking in fights as much as this one. So this is the odd one out episode that does have talking in fights.
Anyway, thanks for taking your time to write such a long and constructed review. In the future, I'll try to pay closer attention to how I write my script. I'll ask my testers to pay closer attention to this too.
Glad I'm not the only one who drew a comparison with everything they had the Governor do to side quests in an RPG or something.
The animation could be a bit smoother and use some refinement however, doesn't really move like a video game. But you got the basic idea across. Nice stuff.
Keiichi has the weirdest photos on display. A photo of someone on their death bed and a photo of him next to a photo of the dead person. And he thinks Dea is weird, huh....
Yup pretty much everyone's first experience. This late into the game though, most of the jokes have been done before, but it was still pretty fun. Had a couple of new solid bits I haven't seen yet. Animation was solid as well, maybe one level of shading would've been nice. And acting was pretty good, definitely feel the despair.
Did you try out the beta by the way? It felt so damn smooth and ripostes and backstabs look so freaking badass now.
Very cool, though I think this probably would've been better labeled as a trailer!
Nice animation, for when there was animation. I personally have grown tired of the whole story book pages thing to recount a story, but at this point there's no escaping it. The music and voice work were really done, props to your narrator. But the balance of the volume from the music to the voices was really off and how they transitioned was a little weird.
But it's just a trailer and I'm overanalyzing like an idiot. Looking forward to the game man.
So weird..... I didn't get a aroused whatsoever watching a Zone flash....
The world is ending.....
Hm... very disappointing.
I love anime as the next geeky ass, Vocaloid listening, manga reading idiot, but this just felt so uninspired. It strayed a path that has been used far too often and for anyone who has seen anime, I doubt the outcome came as a surprise. Boy screwing up and being mistaken for a pervert, we've heard it all before. What would've been nice is if you somehow mixed it up or made the idea a little more unique, or funny in general. Instead it was just bleh.
I also have to fault the pacing and writing however. More set up I believe would've been useful and more efficient camera angles to build up the supposedly romantic situation before shattering the mood. Hell I know you watch anime, some of those glow-ey effects and making everything sparkle would've worked well. And when his hand gets stuck to her back, I thought maybe she was gonna start running around and he'd have to follow her and stumble about, but it just went to the obvious exit and reveal the moment the kids were waiting for. If only though, some more time in the editing room would've done this wonders.
The animation ranged from great and smooth to rather choppy and eh. Clothes dropping was rather smooth, but the part where "blacksmith guy" leans in for a kiss was noticeably hicky. The colouring was nice though and the background was simple and did it's job. I'm shocked from the lack of typical anime effects; speed lines, smacky exclamations. What with all the anime sound effects that were being thrown left and right. And to the sound, the voice acting was great. People love to talk shit on Rina-chan, but in all honesty she was fine. It's just that the dialogue felt awkward which is more on fault the writing than the actual actors themselves. And like others said, went a little overboard with the sound effects. Take it down a notch and work them in and not force them.
Gotta say, this beginning of something special has me worried how this special thing will fare. Unoriginal idea and awkward writing, yet talent in the art department and audio. For a comedy I the thought didn't occur to me once to laugh throughout the piece. Either I got a dead sense of humor or you really need to get some editing and proofreading done before finalizing your scripts.
Here's hoping the next episode will atleast mange to make me crack a smile.
I was glad to finally see a Video Game related flash that wasn't about Skyrim or Mincraft, rather on one of my favorite games of last year. But unfortunately I found this to be severely lacking in many areas.
The star of the show; the comedy, the jokes weren't funny. Some observational humor there and random silly humor here, all of which lacked a good enough punchline to make me laugh or even smirk. I felt you had a good idea and some possible potential with the Counter Icon joke, but it came by as quickly as it was brought up. And randomness could be funny if the pacing and delivery does a good job, but the whole Batman doing weird faces and staring at the Thug as he drews just felt awkward and weird. There's definitely potential for good jokes with a Batman theme, but I don't believe you guys got it. You've got the right ideas, but it's just not working quite yet.
The animation as everyone has stated isn't amazing, but it gets the job done. I felt some more inbetweens would've made everything look a lot smoother and some more heads for the two thugs talking at the beginning to make it look more natural. But whatevs. The voice acting is very slipshop; the voices are there and I can sense what they were going for, but they sounded very unenthusiastic. It sounded like a dude trying to sound like a thug, not an actual thug. And in general he needed more emotion, which perhaps would've made the writing more funny if he did.
As your first submission together I gotta say it's a very poor looking product, but you gotta start somewhere. There only seems to be a few of us who dislikes this, but hopefully that's enough to motivate you guys to try to improve your writing and animation. Good luck to any future projects.
Side note; about the people so far who gave you low scores and how you responded to them. Sure they were blunt in their opinion and their jab at your movie, but that doesn't mean you guys gotta attack them right back. Everyone is welcomed to their own opinions. Right?
:D Don't want to get burned? Haha. I will retort to any inane dumb ass giving us a 1 and saying "it's bad" with the same fervor he gave me for his reasoning behind the terrible score.
With that said, your review is spot on. We are well aware of all of the fallacies of our first product and are quite proud of it. We're not getting paid daily to do this, and it's all for fun (we're also not charging anyone to watch it). I got the voices from my partying friends next door and myself, at a party. I'm not the greatest animator but I did what I could to help the jokes along. I feel the people who are rating us poorly are basing it on a lot of things that we haven't had the opportunity to develop and craft well enough yet and are holding us to a standard that's been set by people who've been doing this a lot longer than we have. Like you said, we have to start somewhere.
I asked Egoraptor to do the voices for the parody, but he never responded so you can't say I didn't try. Doing inbetweens would have made this much smoother, and the beginning could do with some more variety.
We weren't trying to get anything. We had fun doing this and hoped other people would enjoy it for what it was. Two guys making an animation. We've been very lucky to get as many views and reviews as we have (and front page) and we really appreciate people who give us pointers to help us further ourselves as animators! The 10's help too.
People are entitled to their opinion, as much as we are entitled to defend ourselves against trolls and over-all negative people who want to make us feel bad for trying something they've never even attempted or let others see. Right?
I'm not too sure about this one man, I almost wanted to giggle or chuckle a little, but I couldn't get over that leap. Like everyone's been saying; I enjoy your other work, but this one, oh boy this one's a doozy. I think if done differently and in general a different approach you wouldn't have half of us calling you out. Making fun of cancer is fine, it's been done before. But making fun of the kids with cancer? Eeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Ah well, what can you do. Spilled milk and what not. Have fun with the flaming I suppose.
newgrounds.com — Your #1 online entertainment & artist community! All your base are belong to us.